Alex said, you want us to be cool
But he couldn't do that with someone he didn't trust
Like Mary J. Blige, the eyes don't lie
And Alex
Had "Real Love" for Tess, not lust
He said, there's a difference
Channeling Adam Lambert in disgust
"Whataya Want from Me?", he asked Tess
What am I to you?
An experiment
Alex shouted, you lied to me!
The person in his soul was crushed when Tess left, and chose to put Jesus first in her life unconditionally
He asked, what can anyone say to that?
Alex said, overstand
That was a hard overnight transition for me
He told Tess, you used that explanation as an assailant and we both became segregated
Alex said, I never used you
I took care of your heart, I never punctured it or abused you
He said, I caught your tears every time they would appear
Those other dudes took your worth for granted, damn it!
And yet n still he asked Tess, you wanna be cool?
He said, believe me eye get it!
We all got problems and I apologize about school
Cause Tess had to leave she didn't have the right amount of funds to finish through
But Alex stated, he removed himself from the situation cause he couldn't continue to be her little fool
He expressed to Tess, you just tossed me away like some old rusty useless tool
Now Alex is looking at Tess like God or Satan
Can't tell who's who!
Alex was ready to make a commitment to Tess, and she just shoved it right back in his face
Left him alone
Heart shattered
Ego, pride, battered and bruised
Alex said, he had no one!
He told Tess instead you acted like a robber, took the barrel and showed me the gun
Then stuck a sword in me like Shogun n kept it movin' like ho-hum
But Alex said, I don't blame you I blame myself
I was dum
He told Tess you say I'm not this n that
But you saw how my heart was pure
What I went through, previously and with you
Changed that
Changed me
So don't begin to act like you know me now, cause you don't!
Alex revolted
He said, love could kiss his ass n hope is another boat floatin'
Down a bayou river
He told Tess, you don't know what pain is til' you pull that trigger
Trembling, nervous
As his upper lip begin to quiver
He yelled!, so don't ever again get me twisted n told her if hearing your voice again was my gift this past December
Then, forget Christmas!
He said to Tess, continue to act as if my number is unlisted
What we had drifted
No convo!, no nothin'
Not even an honorable mention
Alex rambled on to Tess saying, you didn't even wanna discuss what happened like what happened between you and I never happened
Before you came over here he asked, how many times in the mirror did you practice?, what you were going to say to me and it became normal til' you convinced yourself you felt nothing within your own interaction?
He asked her, how do you make sense of that in your little faction?
But before Tess could respond to his reaction
Alex cut her off and said, you know what? fuck it!
Don't know why I'm askin'
Mumbling to himself pacing back n forth
I'm just a billboard for you, a glutton for punishment like a bureaucrat wit field operative tactics
As he continued on
Telling Tess stuttering, but you you'll feel me when I'm dead and gone like the rest of these clueless figures
Alex shouted again, I'm not a stupid nigga!
Tess said, let's try being cool and please don't be so bitter
Alex said, can you blame me you used my dick like a space shuttle, til' feelings got caught
Now we got a problem like Houston nigga!
Tess interrupted, you don't have to be crass Alex or sarcastic using insults in your language unbefitting to me when speaking to me
We can discuss this in a manner without all thee explicit's your aiming at me, on purpose intentionally
Oh really!
Alex relayed inquisitively exquisitely,
That's funny, cause eye see things differently
Picking up where he left off before she cut him off earlier as he scoffed, pullin' on a cigarette as he coughed
Almost looking sinister but plagued with uncontrollable distress and anger in his tone as his words echoed n flickered
Alex just ignored her and said, if that's what it was, then we should've kept it like a reclusive picture and kept that scene on repeat like a porn-star repetitively fuckin' n suckin' wit no sense of time like agua in a dispenser
Drip!
Drip!
Slowly til' your completely drained outta da mixture
Alex screamed to the top of his lungs, fuck the world! like Pac is what you can find on my rear end like a bumper sticker
As he calmed down saying once again to Tess, but yet n still
Cool relations is what you wanna rebuild?, or be?
Tess looked away, he raised his voice n said look at me!
Alex went on and said hmmm, let's see!
He asked Tess, how do you breathe under ocean water extensively if your not a fish wit gills?
Alex said, I was poppin' pills like it was apart of my field
Of expertise
But it was a crutch
Just a co-dependent of illusions to shield my feelings for real
Or non refusal of alluding to conceal the ordeal of how I felt in this mess
Just to forget what you did to me Tess
Was it a facade? he asked, cause I had the notion we were connected
Binding like a novel to an author
Alex reiterated to Tess, you was my partner!
And it's funny how you pop back up like "Welcome Back Kotter"
Like you didn't know what we did on sheets would cum back to haunt us
Alex told her, we are adults n we full well knew thee intentions of our actions
He said, yeah! you had a choice to make
But you made it without me and took mines away, how selfish was that of you? he asked Tess
As he tried to make sense, get a grasp around his thoughts, n come to terms with the final detachment
And don't act like you didn't know what was at stake in the heat of your passion
Tess just remained non-responsive, cold, silent
Staring into Alex eyes which resembled confusion, hurt, sadness, rage, pain and violence
The last thing Alex would ask Tess is, how can you be so callus?
She said you have to understand, this is about me! not you Alex
I still care for you and love you and still would like us to be cool
My heart holds no malice!
But we got lost in our emotions, and eye now realize what took place between us was a mistake
Tess told Alex before she was about to skate, I'll pray for you n hope you'll find the right mate
But it isn't me, we can never be
She turned to him for the last time and said, try to find comfort in what we shared from the good memories
At that moment, Alex felt helpless like someone stole his life force and sucked up all his energy
He stared at her once more as if he wasn't focusing on her, but having an outer body experience looking through her, inside her core
And he said as Tess reached for the door
I just became someone you threw in da dumpster like a useless ratchet
But Alex revealed that every lashing has a chained reaction
And now their history is his~story and her~story wit blood leaked onto da mattress
A finality to an ending both never imagined
"Cool" by Ra Shine McKoy aka Shawn Stare
But he couldn't do that with someone he didn't trust
Like Mary J. Blige, the eyes don't lie
And Alex
Had "Real Love" for Tess, not lust
He said, there's a difference
Channeling Adam Lambert in disgust
"Whataya Want from Me?", he asked Tess
What am I to you?
An experiment
Alex shouted, you lied to me!
The person in his soul was crushed when Tess left, and chose to put Jesus first in her life unconditionally
He asked, what can anyone say to that?
Alex said, overstand
That was a hard overnight transition for me
He told Tess, you used that explanation as an assailant and we both became segregated
Alex said, I never used you
I took care of your heart, I never punctured it or abused you
He said, I caught your tears every time they would appear
Those other dudes took your worth for granted, damn it!
And yet n still he asked Tess, you wanna be cool?
He said, believe me eye get it!
We all got problems and I apologize about school
Cause Tess had to leave she didn't have the right amount of funds to finish through
But Alex stated, he removed himself from the situation cause he couldn't continue to be her little fool
He expressed to Tess, you just tossed me away like some old rusty useless tool
Now Alex is looking at Tess like God or Satan
Can't tell who's who!
Alex was ready to make a commitment to Tess, and she just shoved it right back in his face
Left him alone
Heart shattered
Ego, pride, battered and bruised
Alex said, he had no one!
He told Tess instead you acted like a robber, took the barrel and showed me the gun
Then stuck a sword in me like Shogun n kept it movin' like ho-hum
But Alex said, I don't blame you I blame myself
I was dum
He told Tess you say I'm not this n that
But you saw how my heart was pure
What I went through, previously and with you
Changed that
Changed me
So don't begin to act like you know me now, cause you don't!
Alex revolted
He said, love could kiss his ass n hope is another boat floatin'
Down a bayou river
He told Tess, you don't know what pain is til' you pull that trigger
Trembling, nervous
As his upper lip begin to quiver
He yelled!, so don't ever again get me twisted n told her if hearing your voice again was my gift this past December
Then, forget Christmas!
He said to Tess, continue to act as if my number is unlisted
What we had drifted
No convo!, no nothin'
Not even an honorable mention
Alex rambled on to Tess saying, you didn't even wanna discuss what happened like what happened between you and I never happened
Before you came over here he asked, how many times in the mirror did you practice?, what you were going to say to me and it became normal til' you convinced yourself you felt nothing within your own interaction?
He asked her, how do you make sense of that in your little faction?
But before Tess could respond to his reaction
Alex cut her off and said, you know what? fuck it!
Don't know why I'm askin'
Mumbling to himself pacing back n forth
I'm just a billboard for you, a glutton for punishment like a bureaucrat wit field operative tactics
As he continued on
Telling Tess stuttering, but you you'll feel me when I'm dead and gone like the rest of these clueless figures
Alex shouted again, I'm not a stupid nigga!
Tess said, let's try being cool and please don't be so bitter
Alex said, can you blame me you used my dick like a space shuttle, til' feelings got caught
Now we got a problem like Houston nigga!
Tess interrupted, you don't have to be crass Alex or sarcastic using insults in your language unbefitting to me when speaking to me
We can discuss this in a manner without all thee explicit's your aiming at me, on purpose intentionally
Oh really!
Alex relayed inquisitively exquisitely,
That's funny, cause eye see things differently
Picking up where he left off before she cut him off earlier as he scoffed, pullin' on a cigarette as he coughed
Almost looking sinister but plagued with uncontrollable distress and anger in his tone as his words echoed n flickered
Alex just ignored her and said, if that's what it was, then we should've kept it like a reclusive picture and kept that scene on repeat like a porn-star repetitively fuckin' n suckin' wit no sense of time like agua in a dispenser
Drip!
Drip!
Slowly til' your completely drained outta da mixture
Alex screamed to the top of his lungs, fuck the world! like Pac is what you can find on my rear end like a bumper sticker
As he calmed down saying once again to Tess, but yet n still
Cool relations is what you wanna rebuild?, or be?
Tess looked away, he raised his voice n said look at me!
Alex went on and said hmmm, let's see!
He asked Tess, how do you breathe under ocean water extensively if your not a fish wit gills?
Alex said, I was poppin' pills like it was apart of my field
Of expertise
But it was a crutch
Just a co-dependent of illusions to shield my feelings for real
Or non refusal of alluding to conceal the ordeal of how I felt in this mess
Just to forget what you did to me Tess
Was it a facade? he asked, cause I had the notion we were connected
Binding like a novel to an author
Alex reiterated to Tess, you was my partner!
And it's funny how you pop back up like "Welcome Back Kotter"
Like you didn't know what we did on sheets would cum back to haunt us
Alex told her, we are adults n we full well knew thee intentions of our actions
He said, yeah! you had a choice to make
But you made it without me and took mines away, how selfish was that of you? he asked Tess
As he tried to make sense, get a grasp around his thoughts, n come to terms with the final detachment
And don't act like you didn't know what was at stake in the heat of your passion
Tess just remained non-responsive, cold, silent
Staring into Alex eyes which resembled confusion, hurt, sadness, rage, pain and violence
The last thing Alex would ask Tess is, how can you be so callus?
She said you have to understand, this is about me! not you Alex
I still care for you and love you and still would like us to be cool
My heart holds no malice!
But we got lost in our emotions, and eye now realize what took place between us was a mistake
Tess told Alex before she was about to skate, I'll pray for you n hope you'll find the right mate
But it isn't me, we can never be
She turned to him for the last time and said, try to find comfort in what we shared from the good memories
At that moment, Alex felt helpless like someone stole his life force and sucked up all his energy
He stared at her once more as if he wasn't focusing on her, but having an outer body experience looking through her, inside her core
And he said as Tess reached for the door
I just became someone you threw in da dumpster like a useless ratchet
But Alex revealed that every lashing has a chained reaction
And now their history is his~story and her~story wit blood leaked onto da mattress
A finality to an ending both never imagined
"Cool" by Ra Shine McKoy aka Shawn Stare
WOW!! DEEP. SALUTE....
ReplyDeleteThanks Shantell, I try to speak for those around me as well so I'm able to come up wit different concepts to support that. But as we may know at times life will imitate art and reflect in our work. So I just give a glimpse or rather another perspective to my audience for the ones I may interact with from afar & relay their stories as best I can. Not all of us are blessed to be able to express ourselves so I'm just thankful that I can share pieces or a portion of others who go through things in their lives and delve into thee emotions behind it. Appreciate you taking the time out to read & comment. I'm humbled, Thanks once again. God Bless!!
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