"The Broke Poet"

Where do I start, where do eye begin

All the riches in the world mean nothing without real family & friends
My word is Bond like James
Poetry on this PC is all I have to give
Pockets empty, nothing left to lend

My reflection & reality of eye & those around me
Is ALL I have left to send
No change back!
Walking away from the counter, relinquishing everything I had to spend
Time, energy, blood, sweat
Emaciated opportunities throughout the years
Wasted tears
What drips outta eyelids of the clown mask over the person you see wanting to jump, standing on the bridge 
Simply red
"Holding Back The Years"
It still takes every ounce of restraint in me to fight back the tears

Like the song goes, feels like eye did the same
It appears
Eye show you ALL of me, even my fears!
Mostly, not being with someone to share & then going down roads that lead to nowhere
My incantation of my own insecurities
That rears
It's ugly head
Usually at night when I clutch my pillow & lay in my bed

Shades of gray
To some, eye held close to my heart everyday
Left me
Sent me away
Forgot about me & did the turn around "Fade Away" like Mary J.
To my dismay
You can't put a price tag on loyalty & honesty
And I say that DEMONSTRATIVELY!

I jot down my pains, my strife's, my darkness, my light
The journeys throughout that shaped my life
I write
For those who ask me
Not as gifted as eye may be
But want their story to be told, just as passionately

I intertwine the threads & mesh the led with the paper
Stare into the eyes of my neighbor
Give em' a hug, tell em' try to stay strong
Even tho they know their partner might be steppin' out with someone else later
Favor for a favor
Pray for me as well, I've been through that hell

For the first time in a while
Eye have no sense of direction
Not getting any younger
Dying is my hunger
Mood swings
Somber
Shine just not a broke poet
His spirit is broken inside from past & present moments

Up til' now, I take full responsibility for the choices I made
Eye own it!

Loneliness is a desolate place in this human race
I run to the art that eye create
It's like my drug
And from time to time, I need a taste
For me, it's the only haven that is safe
I'm a scavenger on these streets
Dissecting the carcass of I & many, then covering them on deez
sheets
Pulling back the blankets, then revealing what is underneath
A source of inspiration for the weak

To not give up hope, make every second count & live!
Telling others & my kids, not to make the same mistakes that their father did
I had a lot of promise
But drowned in a pool of no end jobs, then jobless
Babymama drama, wife, child support, divorce, alimony & nonsense
Depression seeped in & eye became despondent from everyone's correspondence

Death of my image tripped me up on the field scrimmage
Once I lost everything I held dear to me, eye became a lost soul among the living
Trying to recoup, still somewhat sick from what was diminished
And no matter how much Guinness
Or other liquor or weed you consume
After the haze & fog clears
Your still left isolated in a room to figure out your next move

The same problems
Trying to generate income
But there is none
Just the broke poet you see in these visions
Literary artist with mass literature
That gloomy lookin' Church on the Hill like Winston
Ja' Shawn
I'm proud of you son!
You stood on your own two & did what you had to do
Little did one know
You
Zhane', Zy-Aire, & Zaniah was the glue

That held me together

Y'all loved me unconditionally regardless of my failures
Always remember to put on that armor
What don't kill ya, makes you stronger
Keep ya aura clean or you'll be paid a visit by that bitch "Karma"
And that's a given,
I found out the hard way that what you put out in the earth, you get back
With interest!
And the relationship you have with your Creator
No thirst can quench it!
Continue to handle your business & you'll get back equal intentions and more by the fortitude you exhibit
It' true!, talent that works diligently has no limits

Excerpt's from the mind of a broke poet with everything spent up
Nothin' more to contribute
Just the conversations of emotions that are pent-up
Salute to everybody
Pens Up!!!!.............

"The Broke Poet" by Ra Shine McKoy aka Shawn Stare